where i am: march 2019
In a lot of ways, it feels like this has been a long time coming. Getting $20,000 more than I anticipated means that I have a lot of freedom when it comes to the design of our home and I’m really dreaming big. The theme of this house is “everything I want” instead of “whatever works” and it’s a mindset shift that was unexpected but so much fun. I truly believe that the sale has really shaken up my energy and helped me level up. It’s upped my faith that things are always working out in my favor and I’m doubling down on my commitment to do what’s best for us instead of going with what’s easily available – both in home design and in life in general. I’m expecting the best and it feels really good.
As I’m writing this, I’m sitting in our local library (#homeless) and, not to be dramatic, but it feels like an answer to a prayer. A year or so ago, I was dreaming about working for myself when/where/how I want and doing things out of joy instead of obligation. 6 months or so ago, I was wishing for more things to fill my time and light me up. Both of those things are happening for me now and it fills me with gratitude for how the universe has shown up for me.
In the midst of all this joy/excitement/business, there have been some questions though. I still feel a little stuck on the business side of things. I really want to start generating more income, but none of the income generating ideas I’ve had have felt quite right. I don’t want to do something just for the sake of money because clearly that can show up other ways besides income, but I am itching to start contributing financially and I’m excited to use my income to make our house the most beautiful it can be.
One thing I’ve realized on this front is that I have been telling the story of, “I don’t really know what I want to do” for a long time. That needs to stop. I know exactly what I want to do. I want to be a multipassionate entrepreneur. I want to have my hands in several different projects at once and have the freedom to pick and choose what I dive into and how I schedule it. I know what I want to do, I just don’t know exactly what it will look like. And I’ve decided that’s okay. I think it’s a general theme in my life. You always here about entrepreneurs who have been dreaming about owning their company since they were 5. That’s not true for me and it doesn’t need to be. I don’t believe there’s one right way to do anything anyway, so of course this is no different. I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur but I’ve never clung to one particular vision. Instead of seeing this as a problem, I’ve decided to see it as a pro. I know that I’m good at a variety of things and I can use that to my advantage. Now, I’m just going to stop stressing so much about it and see where things go. If the last month is any indication of how fast things can change, I’d say I’m in for a fun ride!
Here's a quote that really helped me relax a bit and release the doubts:
Nothing needs to be fixed. Everything is unfolding perfectly. So, when you stand in your now, accepting that all is well, then from that vibration, you become surrounded by more and more evidence that all is well. – Abraham Hicks
What I’m excited about:
NEW FREAKING HOUSE
Literally this is the best thing ever for me. It’s a fixer upper of course, but we found the perfect balance of “can be lived in” and “needs lots of love.” I’ll be writing lots of content on this and taking you through the whole thing, but just know that big things are happening – and walls are coming down!
Alison’s brand school
This is a little hilarious to me because I’ve been so excited about this since Christmas (and still am), but I was holding on to it a little to get me through the winter and now I have something maybe even more exciting and big and challenging happening just before I leave. As in, we’re scheduled to move on Tuesday and I’m flying out Saturday. Regardless, I am SO EXCITED for what this is going to do for my business!
If you know me well, then you know that for years I’ve said that I was going to take my parents two outside dogs. Clementine is half weimaraner/ half lab and she really is already my dog. No one claims her like I do and I just want to be able to love on her full time. Izzy is a half lab/half retriever (and maybe something else?) that is so cute and loveable, but she never really had a “person” in our family until Seb came along. He loves her to pieces and it just works out so nicely for everyone to have a pair. I’m really glad to be able to provide them with a bit of a better life (read: a fenced in yard and sleeping inside at night) and give my parents a break since they currently have 4 dogs and a cat. Honestly, getting the dogs is a close second to getting a house in terms of excitement! More to come on how the cats’ transition to having canine sisters goes, but I’m optimistic!
What I’m working on:
Releasing doubt around business
See above, but I know it’s going to work out so no need to fret!
Despite the point above, I still do want to make sure I’m moving in the direction of generating income and creating opportunities for myself. I feel like I’ve been a little stagnant in this area as I was waiting for Alison’s brand school to help with this, so I want to make sure I get everything I can out of the conference and really use the momentum afterwards.
Flowing in a busy season
I’m actually so excited about this. We’ve got a lot going on and I’m loving that things are picking up. It’s helping me learn how to balance feminine (flow) and masculine (effort) energies. I know that post-conference might be a challenging time for me as I’m going to be lit up to move forward on both the house and the business, but I think that’s going to be great practice for the rest of my life. I want to always have my hands in a few baskets and this is just the beginning!